Patron Saint of Lost Causes

I attended the St. Jude Shrine in Baltimore this morning. I may have found a church home here-- it certainly felt like home. The congregation was multi-ethnic; I heard Spanish, English, Italian and I think Lithuanian prior to and after mass. There were certainly hopeless causes in the congregation and it was surreal to see them sitting calmly next to well dressed church members without raised eyebrows seen in other churches. They were treated with respect-- I think I recognized one of them as a pan-handler down by the harbor. There would be no other place this could be more expected than a shrine to Jude Thaddeus, almost lost in history himself due to his unfortunate sharing of the name "Judas". A couple of songs hit a chord during mass, and I thought I'd share:

Deep within I plant my law
not on stone, but in your heart
Follow Me
I will bring you back
you will be my own and I will be your God
-----Deep Within

DMinor, if you are reading this, suggest Deep Within to John George-- it's lovely.

God who in your holy gospel wills that all shall truly live
Make us sense our share of failures
Our tranquility forgive
Teach us courage as we struggle in all liberating strife
lift the smallness of our vision by your own abundent life
------God Whose Purpose is to Kindle

They sang the Our Father in a way I had never heard. There was no choir, but this smallish congregation swelled the rafters with music and prayers (unusual for Catholics, I assure you!). The sermon made sense in the context of both scripture and everyday life. I've been missing mass for 3 weeks running due to both selfish and practical reasons, but I'll be back next week. It may have been the stress of the week putting a tear in my eye during Deep Within, or it may have been that I had been missing the peace only found in the pauses between prayers during mass.

Tales of a Speechless Speech Therapist

Day 5 of laryngitis for this poor speech therapist.

Day 1 was slight hoarseness after lunch. Noticable hoarseness during phone conversations that evening.

Day 2 was marked by phonation breaks but still functional speech throughout all my sessions. Day 2 was also marked, unfortunately, by wine-tasting at a crowded bar where I yelled over noise for 2 hours. Day 2 was not my most intelligent moment and was followed closely by day 3, on which day I was completely aphonic.

Yes, I actually saw 7 patients that day, some of them head injured, and I was unable to voice. I dragged a recreational therapist student with me in the morning and a speech student with me in the afternoon and had them "talk" for me. I whispered sentences and cues to them, and they did the talking. They were not, admittedly, my most productive sessions. It was a great chance to work on communication breakdown with my patients, though! We worked on polite ways to ask for repeated sentences and worked on socially acceptable things to say to your speech therapist who has laryngitis. (i.e., we do NOT say, "what's wrong with you? Your voice is stupid." We DO say, "gee, I'm sorry you aren't feeling well. Hope your voice comes back soon."-- I also had to train several staff members in this as well, sadly enough).

Day 4 was Friday, and by luck I had it off. Vocal rest was the name of the game. I scheduled a massage at 3pm at an aromatherapy shop and inhaled lovely eucalyptus vapors with a warm compress across my neck for 70 minutes. It was the best massage I've ever had. I really couldn't care less if reflexology works, it felt really great for her to poke at my feet for 10 minutes. She hit EVERY trigger point in my body, put tiger balm on my chest to help with the irritated respiratory system, and managed to squeeze every bit of stress out of my body. And I didn't have to say a word until the "thanks" at the end. It was my first massage in Baltimore, and I wonder if I can justify another before I leave! It really is expensive, but when I'm desperate, I'm desperate! I had to say "no" to a night on the town with the girls from work-- I really needed my voice back and that will never happen if you go to a smokey bar and talk over music for several hours (see evening of day 2 and day 3 for proof).

Day 5 is today. I'm at work, currently munching on a granola bar, sun chips and a bottle of water. I did not realize that cafeteria was closed today, and staff for lunch company are sparse. So I'm up typing away while eating junk from the vending machine. I'd go over to the harbor to eat, but I really don't feel like putting on the coat and walking-- plus I'd have to stay past 5pm to compensate for an extended lunch. The voice lasts for 10 minute intervals during sessions. I'm popping non-menthol cough drops in between patients. I'm working on a huge list of new patients to be seen and have not even seen one of my own patients. Vocal rest will have to monopolize tonight and tomorrow as well if I'm going to be an effective speech therapist next week!

So here's to hoping my voice comes back to complete health soon. The irony of the situation can only carry you so far-- a speechless speech therapist is only mildly funny, and only for a very short duration. Then it just smacks of incompetency!

The Best Nephew EVER

Since I can't do anything but wait and see if the Irish jerk presents our conversation to the administration at the hospital where I work, and I can't remember what all we talked about anyway, I'm moving on to other happier posts.

I babysat my nephew overnight for the first time last night. Brother and wife went off for romatic night on the city of Baltimore and Collin and I discovered all the fun we could have in a studio apartment. The duration was 5 hours last night and 4 hours this morning. He brought a teddy bear, some playdoh, 2 movies, 4 books and the usual essentials (diapers, blanket, etc.) As a traveller, I have very few kids toys, but we managed to make due.

We played alot with my exercise ball. The cool thing about a corner apartment with brick walls is you can kick a ball "in the house" as hard as you can, and no damage (physical or noise) is done. We wrestled alot. We jumped on the bed a bit (carefully, in the center, only when dancing and holding my hand-- just in case Beth is reading!) We sat on the window sill and watched buses, trucks and cars go by-- we never got to see a fire truck but we heard them in the distance. We played with teddy bear, and flashlights, and my stuffed dinosaur that sits above my doorway. Our game there was to sneak up on the dinosaur, peak around the corner, scream, then run across the room and hide behind the bed. This lead to throwing koosh balls at said dinosaur until it fell off its perch. That game lasted about an hour and was quite fun. We drew on the entire refridgerator with erasable markers-- we drew a shark eating Nemo and then Collin scribbled on the shark to save Nemo's life. Wheeew, it was a close one! We celebrated the saving of Nemo by eating dried pineapple rings and cherrios.

I was under the mistaken impression that if I put on a movie and tucked him in, he may fall asleep. Afterall, we had brushed teeth, changed diaper, PJ'd ourselves, and read 4 books-- we should have been primed to sleep by 8pm. At 9pm I'm still telling him to settle down and keep in bed-- he kept "forgetting" stuff-- "I forgot teddy!" "I forgot to put my cup up", "I forgot to put my toothbrush away!". At 9pm I made the rule that he must stay on the bed-- this led to much rolling this way and that way attempting to get comfortable. I turned off all the lights, read another book to him in hushed whisper, then put on my sleep music (some Bach and 100 years). By 10pm he was snoozing.

At 11pm Cheria called. Ha! He didn't wake up- thank god for deep sleepers! When I finished the conversation and went to bed I noticed he had turned himself sideways and was somehow, in all his 2.5 feet splender, taking up the entire queen size bed (bed hogging denies both physics and deminsions). I picked him up and turned him back the right direction without too much ado. Had to do it again twice that night when I found his foot in my face and then in my stomach. They need to buy this kid a circular bed. And I need some border patrol!

The only bad part of our time together, other than the very stinky diaper this morning that needed (count them) 3 wipes to clean up, was an incident with my front door alarm. I have something that goes under the door that goes off if it is manipulated. I told collin that the door had an alarm and not to open it without me. This morning while I was cooking he zoomed over to the door, I thought to his bag, and then zoomed back when the alarm went off at 140 dbs. Tears and clinging followed for about 10 minutes. I gave lots of hugs and rocking and told him "wow, that was loud, we should open the door together next time so I can turn that alarm off". He did NOT try to open the front door again, and when we were heading out he asked me to make sure the noise was off. I assured him it was off. Lesson learned. It was really funny, but I managed to make sure he never saw me laughing silently!

It was a great time. He's constant energy but behaved nicely for me (except for not going to sleep and trying once to go out the front door). Brother and wife have done a good job.

Did I spoil him? Well, we ate pancakes for dinner and I let him pour his own syrup. Maybe I spoiled him a tiny bit. But he DID have to try one bite of chicken before we got to watch Willie Wonka-- and that took 45 minutes of stubborness.

Garbage Disposal

Yep. Same guy. Didn't want to continue conversation and drinks because I'm interesting or anything-- just was interested in getting an outsider's view of my new employment. And didn't let me know there was another reason. Asshole.

Fellows, forget what I said. Don't be like this.

Not Quite an Ax Murderer

But certainly in the same general category. Think boyfriend and almost fiancee of a coma patient downstairs. I'll confirm it tonight when I pull his number off my fridge and will quite possibly rip it up and throw it down my garbage disposal if it's true. I have a comparison number from the patient. HIPPA be damned, that's just creepy on more levels than I can verbally identify. The descriptions from those at the family meeting are way too close to the guy I met at the Irish bar.

Ever had that sinking sick feeling and the more you think about it, the sicker you feel because you are discovering another level of despair? Yeah. Why would a NORMAL guy pick me up in a bar anyway?

Whine and Cheeze

Received a lovely card from the choir, from my parents, and a carnation from my apartment complex (for two whole heartbeats I thought it was from a sweetie, but nope). Both brothers called me, but I couldn't talk long because I had plans.

Plans were-- met nice person from church several weeks ago and exchanged phone numbers. Elizabeth called Sunday night and invited me out with her friends. I ordered Ismiele (totally spelled that wrong-- something with bean paste-- fellefial? Help me out Smitty) and it was bland. Dinner conversation was lively and consisteted of a fast paced conversation of what I needed to see in Baltimore and a good conversation with Bruce. Bruce was dad's age, works with computers and has a "side" job of teaching clinical skills to doctors. Remember the Seinfield episode where Kramer got the job as a patient? That's what Bruce does. Cool.

Took me an hour to get there and 20 minutes to go home-- technically I didn't get lost but I certainly took the scenic route there! It was good not to be home on Valentine's day. And apparently there's a great St. Paddy's day celebration downtown that I need to watch out for- complete with parade and a good time for all. Note to self: go drinking on St. Paddy's day (like I need a note for that!)

Wine tasting was last night again. This time people from work actually showed up and I ran into a new friend from last week. And a guy named Steve that hit on me-- but he was dad's age and I passed him on to an older friend. I left them talking. Nicole and I de-buzzed at the grocery store and I vowed (again) to ask for smaller "tastes" due to intoxicatory effect of wine on my empty stomach.

I may join a kickball league- I need to find out if I'll miss the season or not! It starts next month and it goes until April? I leave April 17th. I'll have to check that out-- even half a season would be fun! Kickball is HUGE up here-- bigger than football. You go and drink with young professionals and then kick a ball around-- and you get a Tee shirt. Wheeee! Sounds like fun.

The Snowy North and a Silly Southern Gal

West Redwood Street

University of Maryland Medical Center

Some fool who discovered falling backwards in the snow HURTS when you are an adult.

The shadow of an angel...or my butt-print?

Gotcha Meatballs

Already wrote about my lovely Friday night and would be amiss to not mention my lovely Monday night last week.

Dad came through on his way to a meeting. Note to self, the loveseats are comfy for naps, but all nighters must be kept to a minimum. Of course, in order to entice people to visit I'll bite the bullet and spend the night on the short couches anyway! Dad and I ate at chiapparelli's Restaurant in Little Italy. I ate Eggplant Parmigiana, which reminded me of portabella mushrooms. They absorbed the flavor of the sweet/spicy tomato sauce and were topped with roasted cheese. Dad ate Homemade Lasagna after struggling to choose an authentic italian meal that ALSO had meat. He refused to conceed to Spaghetti con Polpette (spaghetti with meatballs) out of avoidance for cliches. Nope, Lasagna has no cliches attached to it, right? The saucy waitress that was at least 15 years dad's senior kiddingly brought a meatball on the side of his dish. The waitress and I had a great talk about "kids these days" who give inferior waitress service and expect 20%. What am I, 40? It does seem like Cracker Barrel is 100 years away. Nothing like waiting on grumpy customers for 3 years of college with heavy trays and slick floors to remind you why you are going to school. Back to the point...

I introduced dad to Double Chocolate Stout (the only beer in the house right now) and he managed to choke that down with the Utz pretzels. Revenge for dad watching TV until midnight was granted when both my alarms went off at 6am the next morning (yes dad, it was fun). The girls at work were amazed he came in for one night, even when I explained I was just a hotel. Then again, I think I'm his favorite daughter so of COURSE he stopped by. I loved seeing him. And I didn't get him lost. :-)

I would also be amiss if I didn't mention the Valentine's day card I received. Don't get too excited, it wasn't from a boy. Or, at least, not from A boy. The choir at St Teresa's sent me a Valentine's day card detailing how much they missed me and wishing me luck in my journeys. I haven't found a choir here, and have given up the idea and have just decided to find a good church instead. It was a wonderful happy-sad feeling. I miss the comradship and crazy-zaniness of Wednesday night practices and my second family that I always sat with during mass. I miss having a reason to sing loud. I miss having a reason to practice my flute. I miss my good buddies. So Dminor, please extend my thanks to John George, Ellen, Kateri, Debbie, Rose, Patricia, Mary, Margaret, Bob, and of course my favorite bearded guitar player (he-hum, you). I miss y'all. Tell Patricia to play my "instrument" with heart to annoy John George and make him throw his hands up in the air. And tell Kateri to play loud-- flutes are made to shout with.

It's Snowing

I just walked up to the corner store for no good reason whatsoever. Just to feel the flakes hit my face while walking back. A few may have even landed on my tongue. Is it strange to feel like this is Christmas eve?

Searching for My Lost Salt Shaker of Salt

Looking around the table last night, I was stuck by how many different personalities were meshing quite well. My current co-workers not only get along, but seem to actually like each other. Somehow I fit into this puzzle of personalities, if only for a short time, and the fit is quite comfortable. Missing are the undercurrents of unhappiness and the knowledge that the two people across from you were complaining about the other just before the dinner. I genuinely liked my coworkers at MCG, but they didn't always like each other and, as clueless as I am, I was always marginally aware of this fact.

Here at USH everyone pulls their share pretty evenly. I haven't seen obvious star treatment given to anyone, though the comment "you're contract, what are you worried about" was stated within my hearing. Despite the statement, no one seems all that fussed about the contract workers on the surface. Maybe as I delve into this job and grow to know the nuances of local politics this perception may change, but so far I'm blissfully unaware.

All that I DO know is that I know NOTHING. ---Socrates

All that I know is that I ate sushi with a group of coworkers in an Irish bar with Guiness and noone seemed to acknowledge the strangeness of it. There was no snobbery towards the mix. Most people ate the sushi and endamame with relish-- I tried for months to get someone to eat sushi in Augusta with people and only my good buddy Adrienne ever joined me. She would fit on this staff. At one point I looke across at Rachel and broke her boredom by balancing a salt shaker on its edge. Soon little puddles of salt were appearing all over the table with wobbling salt shakers popping up from no where-- I swear they were stealing them from other tables. Everyone seemed content when I simply answered "college" when asked where I learned such a trick. This is definetly a group that would find Elmstreet attractive.

I also know that next time I get invited to Happy Hour I will either go home and change, pick up a purse and dancing shoes, or I will bring these things to work. I really wanted to discover the Baltimore night life last night, but I was cognizant of the fact that not only was I still in my stuffy work clothes and tennis shoes, but I was completely out of food and toilet paper at home and there was 8-12 inches of snow arriving any time from Saturday morning to Sunday evening. So to the grocery store I went, picking through the devestated bread aisle and finding TP on sale. Then I stood in line for 30 minutes with people who were obviously trying to encite a panic with their grocery cart filled to the brim with canned corn and peas and their talk about being "snowed in for a week". It made me nervous until I realized I work for a HOSPITAL- all I gotta do is show up to work and buy bunches of cafeteria food... then again I may be better off with canned corn and peas.

To answer Smitty, no word from the passing friend I met two Wednesdays ago. Maybe he's busy saving lives? Or maybe he's a creep who offers to show a lady around town and then disappears. (Of course, maybe he's busy walling his latest victim into the wall after ax-murdering her.) It was still a good conversation over beer, and no one can change that.

Wine Tasting and Tapas

Went to a free wine tasting last night and followed it with yummy tapas with a coworker.

I highly recommend Adams Road Australian Wine-- western Australia. I'm not usually a fan of chardonnay but this one was very drinkable. For a deeper wine, the Heytesbury red and chardonnay were lovely. I bought the regular Chardonnay and plan to drink it this weekend. The Shiraz smelled like caramel but I prefer the Belmont estate shiraz-cab mix.

Tapas was great. Restaurant name was Pazo and if anyone visits we are SO getting one of the tent tables on the balcony. They looked like fun. We sat at a very normal table below the cool tent tables. I finally figured out where Whole Foods is located and may go explore over there.

Tonight I will be a vegetable (with chicken wings, if I can find them). Tomorrow I may explore, or I may do laundry and bills. Sunday, hummmmmm, there's some sort of game on, right? If the weather is pretty I may take some more pictures in the morning and post them here.

I took a poll with my head injured patients. Among head injured patients, Pittsburgh is slated to win with a 17 point spread. Bet accordingly.

When You Least Expect It

Went up to the Irish Pub last night to get a beer (actually, Cider) and a take out order due to being tired from work. Guy next to me starts chatting to me. To go order arrives. Guy asks if we can continue the conversation after I go home and eat (ie. meet back). Okay. So we met again at 7:30 and talked until a little after 9pm at a quiet bar. Then he walked me home. He's offered to show me around Baltimore.... new friend maybe? Stay tuned.

To the guys-- this was the first completely non-threatening pickup I've experienced. It started with a question regarding my drink. Proceeded to general comments about crowds. Then jobs (he's a doctor at a nearby hospital). Then the smooth, "well, I've enjoyed talking with you. Can we continue this conversation later? How can I reach you?" The later conversation focused on the 80 hour work week for Doctors and Ireland (we've both been). For someone who usually runs from men picking me up, this actually felt very casual and relaxed! Take note fellows! I'm pretty good at running scared and I didn't run scared from this one! Of course, he's probably an ax murderer or something....